HEALING
Healing is something that we are all interested in for some reason. Jesus taught a lot about it when He was on Earth. He is the master of healing because He is the way, the truth, and the life. Jesus healed many, many people and by His word, still, does today. One interesting case was when He asked a man if he wanted to be healed. This man was sick for several years and it frustrated him. Oddly, even in similar situations, some people may be at some comfort level with their illness or affliction. Many learn to live with problems and cope in life somehow with them. We are able to learn to tolerate pain and limitations. Now, will tell you a true story of an animal who needed healing and wanted it.
A bird once flew into and hit the house window when I was inside. The family and I heard a thump and looked around for it to see what it was. Then we saw the bird on the ground in bad shape and in pain. When it started lifting the back of it up in the air then I ran outside, praying and picked it up slowly to hold it close. It was bleeding out of its beak and I knew it had internal bleeding. I just held it close to the front of my sweater on the front porch and prayed a lot. It did not take too long and it started to calm down and tried to look up a few times at me. Finally, I waited until he or she was very calm when I took it around the side of the house to set it down and see how it was doing. It stood up and looked at me with a paused thank you look at me that I will never ever forget. Then it flew up towards a tree like it had never been injured! I was amazed and thanked God for what He had done. I later found out that a birds blood does not clot when it gets internal injuries. I did not know that fact, I just asked God by His loving grace and mercy to heal that bird! I knew it was something only he could do and I could not but only to ask and trust Him.
We all could ask ourselves in times of prayer and reflections, "What can I do and learn to do in my life for the better of me, others, and God's kingdom if I had some healing in areas that I couldn't do before? What talents and abilities can I progress in with and without healing?" God does care about our well being and He looks at every small detail and the overall picture as well. In one place in the bible, it is written that He healed everyone and in another part, it says that He healed a few of the minor sicknesses because of many peoples' unbelief. He taught us how to behave in love for God and others. He gave many examples and stories. He also demonstrated it to all people he met, all the time. I bring this up to explain more about mental and emotional healings. We can do a lot about our well being in many areas by how we think about life, people, things, and situations. Many of our limitations are learned very young and we have easily developed a habit or mindset about things. We learn how we will respond to things and people and what we will tolerate. Some things positive and negative are birthed in our genetic makeup. So remember that we can carry things that are already there as well as newly developed into our own bodies and minds so our own children’s' make up, to some extent, can be affected. So that is all the more reason to make good habits and decisions early in life.
It all started when the first man and woman disobeyed what God told them in the beautiful garden on Earth and has continued the sin-growing cycle passed down every generation. That's why you can read how the lifespan of man went from 900-some years old down to less than 120 in Genesis. Our bodies were strong and healthy, our minds and emotions were stable and positive. People were healthy with the love of God and there was a healthy fear or honor of God. People made many good choices, natural and spiritual. It's easy to point fingers at how other people have messed us up but how are we doing for ourselves? What can I be doing to make my life better and more functional 15, 45, or 1 year down the road?
We can make small changes at a time and get better with consistency in habits that are good. And later on, we will be grateful with our accomplishments if we just keep it up. Many times, we expect a big change all the time, right away. As humans, that is a tremendous responsibility to have on your shoulders. (And that in turn will turn out to be a 'wipe out' and a 'jump ship' down the road in most cases)
We have to grow in many ways. Growth takes time, preparation, nutrition, changes down the road. God can heal right away but many times He works on us through time. I have had it both ways for different reasons. God is good all the time!
Ok, now let's look at healing throughout the bible and what God, Jesus has to say about it. Jesus was the epitome of health and healing. He is the song of our salvation. And what comes with salvation? I mean, what is one thing that is a part of salvation? Healing, because He has come to make us whole and complete in Him. Salvation is the redemption of our souls to be united with our Creator just as He planned. Why would He save our souls from damnation and an eternal curse to not complete us in His healing and to keep us partially broken? Sometimes it may not be God's timing with us but you have to know that healing is in His hand and He is no respecter (impartial) of persons. That means that He loves all of us as much as anyone else that He made. We sometimes don't experience that love because we are in a battle between Him and sin. And we also face real battles in life that take up our time and energy.
If we sincerely call out to Him for help and we really want His help rather than some other help, He does answer. He will either go through the fire with you or He may remove the fire or obstacle. He will always bring you through though, however, it is done. Learn about Him and read His scriptures for yourself. We would not have medicines or doctors without Him. For He created everything in its rightful place and He wants his work, in and through us, complete.
He never made a world to be broken or people to just vanish without His renewal in Him. His salvation renews us into his completion by His own Spirit through His own word. We are a broken people. We have many limitations and the older we get, the more we have. Find more of Jesus as you get older! I'm not saying that a Spiritual person in Christ won't have any health problems at all, all the time. They are being renewed daily in Christ and as they live, they find more healing in Him as He gives it to them for whatever purposes He wants in their lives. He says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (Mathew 7:7 NIV)
Sometimes that means searching over and over again for His will, His truth, and keeping Him first in everything in your life.
It's not about you and me, it's about Him and His kingdom first, every time! He does not forget about us. He came to tell us about Him and His Father and He has not left us to ourselves. He died in our place because He is God that we had separated ourselves from and He will do whatever HE CAN TO BRING US TO OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN AND PARDON OUR SINS, MAKE US WHOLE AGAIN.
That is the gospel message to us. He is our resurrection from the grave of death and doom. One day we will all be resurrected and in our spiritual bodies that are either raised to eternal life in Him or eternal doom and destruction without Him. That is our choice. He is the resurrection and the life. Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6 NIV) Yes, the path in the world is a narrow one but it is the only sure one that will take you directly to the Father's throne. This world offers many paths for many people but these are paths that go their own way for their own purposes. Not to the one true God of all creation who spilled out his blood for our reconciliation to be able to come to the Father in heart, mind, and soul.
You see, everything is here in the natural because of the spiritual being here first. Without a spirit world life around us, no one would be occupying a body and we would not exist. Jesus said, "I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven." (Matthew 16:19 NIV) We can create our own mental and emotional illnesses or stabilities with what we say, what we think, and what we do; all the time, every day. How do you feel about things that you think about and what you do in response? Keep a little journal or make yourself notes of responses that help. Keep a bible within your reach everywhere you go. And believe me, you need to memorize verses in your heart and mind to be there for you instantly when you need them. We are habitual people. We do and say what we are most familiar with and confident in, even when it's not worth much of any good. I have found that I have been a growing Christian for years and yet I still give into angry words of condemnation or slain sometimes. Because I still trust in responses of reaction rather than speaking God's creative word over whatever the problem is! I'm not walking in love at that point, I'm fighting with my own intellect as a victim of my distress. I tend to think at the time that I am speaking it "the way it is" but I stop there. I don't speak love for reconciliation or healing. I just spill my guts.
Jesus wants us to be a proactive people and to teach and encourage others to do the same. He wants us to speak life to death, comfort for pain, love in the face of hate, hope to a hopeless people and forgiveness to a broken world. That really takes a lot of conscious effort and determination. Boy, does this speak to me! See, I need God's word and presence to heal my mind, heart, body, and spirit too. Sometimes we may think, "God does not care to heal me or fix me. I have struggled with this forever and I have not found any better way to handle this in my heart, mind or life. Get real!" Ok, let’s get real today, "God, I need you!" God is in control over our plans and planning if we let Him. So we could plan out some scenarios with His word in our usage. And when we don't have time to plan, we can and should immediately call out to Him while stopping ourselves from a negative reaction. At that point, we need to respond in a helpful and positive way. We must be vigilant! We need to keep our focus on what really matters. Move to the places we need to be rather than be a victim of what others want or what our spiritual enemy wants for us in return.
We don't always know what is around the corner or a mile down the road. We do not have to go it alone. The bible says, "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8 NIV). This world is not heaven. It is a fallen world from grace. But we are the light of the world. He has called us to be the light of the world and to light the darkness. He also tells us that there are those who would come into the light and love the truth and that there are those who will hide from the light and will despise the light, for it exposes the darkness in which they want to live in denial of and hide all their dirty faults of deceptions and live the evil life for their own selfish gains. This is so ingrained into our thinking that we don't even recognize this attitude as being wrong and unhealthy for us. There are so many people saying, "Be what you want to be. Do what you want to do. It's not wrong whatever you want for yourself." This is a wide path that seems right to men but it leads to destruction. Have you noticed it in America or the world? God is a God of order and he is a God of peace, righteousness, and holiness. The bible says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."(Jeremiah 29:11 NIV). He has a future for a better life and a grand hope.
Here are some scripture verses to read and ponder for your mental and emotional health. Proverbs is full of wisdom and advice:
(Proverbs 10: 21)" The godly give good advice, but fools are destroyed by their lack of common sense. 22) The blessing of the LORD makes a person rich, and he adds no sorrow with it. 23) Doing wrong is fun for a fool, while wise conduct is a pleasure to the wise. 24) The fears of the wicked will all come true; so will the hopes of the godly. 25) Disaster strikes like a cyclone, whirling the wicked away, but the godly have a lasting foundation. 26) Lazy people are a pain to their employer. They are like smoke in the eyes or vinegar that sets the teeth on edge. 27) Fear of the LORD lengthens one's life, but the years of the wicked are cut short. 28) The hopes of the godly result in happiness, but the expectations of the wicked are all in vain. 29) The LORD protects the upright but destroys the wicked. 30) The godly will never be disturbed, but the wicked will be removed from the land. 31) The godly person gives wise advice, but the tongue that deceives will be cut off.(New Living Translation)
(Proverbs 13:1) "A wise son heeds his father's instruction, but a mocker does not listen to rebuke." (NIV)
(Proverbs 13:10) "Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice." (NIV)
(Proverbs 14:1) "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." (NIV)
(Proverbs 14:6) "The mocker seeks wisdom and finds none, but knowledge comes easily to the discerning." (NIV)
(Proverbs 14:8) "The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception." (NIV)
(Proverbs 14:33)" Wisdom rests in the heart of him who has understanding, but what is in the heart of fools is made known." (NKJV)
(Proverbs 15:24) "The path of life leads upward for the wise to keep him from going down to the grave." (NIV)
(Proverbs 15:31) "He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise." (NIV)
(Proverbs 16:16) "How much better to get wisdom than gold, to choose understanding rather than silver!" (NIV)
(Proverbs 17:24) "A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fool's eyes wander to the ends of the earth." (NIV)
(Proverbs 18:4) "The words of a man's mouth are deep waters, but the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook." (NIV)
(Proverbs 19:11) "Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs." (NLT)
(Proverbs 19:20) "Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise." (NIV)
(Proverbs 20:1) "Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise." (NIV)
(Proverbs 24:14) "Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul; if you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off." (NIV)
(Proverbs 29:11) "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." (NIV)
(Proverbs 29:15) "To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child." (NLT)
It talks about the foolish choices and foolish people, wise decisions and better outcomes versus not. Think about it. If you walk around most of the time being angry, for example, where is the peace in that? Where there is confusion, is there not chaos of some sort? Depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, phobias, does any of these have a good future or have the fruit of the Spirit? "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things, there is no law." (Galatians 5:22-23 ESV) How can illness dwell in any of this?
These scriptures above are listed how to live and what not to live by. It tells you how the sinful nature will put you into evil living and a curse. This is all found in Galatians Ch. 5. The whole chapter is good and gets better from verse 13 on. Read all of Galatian’s, it's only 6 chapters. When you learn to live and walk in the Spirit, you renew your thinking and your heart receives healing. When you grow up into Christ, you learn the true meaning of life and you make healthy decisions and you love the truth. How can mental illnesses stay mixed with that? Yes, we can also have chemical imbalances in our brains. Do you know that we have an influence on our balances? The more things we learn connects more brain growth. Neurons grow and connect to each other or they can die off with no maintenance. Nutrition either holds us together or can break us down. A lot of the man-made medicines today help certain things but can have bad side effects more than from natural medicines. Our brain learns to rely on these things and if we go off them instantly, it can wreak havoc on our nervous system. We get used to a certain amount for a while and then we need more or we have to change meds. The problem is that they are more like Band-Aids. They mask a problem but never heal it. Yes, it's a coping tool, just not the best answer for our need. I am on medication. I have been on different meds for a while now. I did what I knew to do to save my future from certain destruction. That doesn't mean that I have to keep taking something that will hinder me but it is not easy to find the right amount and the right one to help me function with my responsibilities all the time. God has healed me from some of my depression that I inherited and learned and He is working on my anxiety, too. Those things can cause other problems as well like irritability, tiredness, etc.
I've come a long way already. Jesus is not done with me yet because He loves me and is faithful. I am learning to trust God enough to put things in His hands and not panic. He said, "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10 NIV) Be still! Know with all your mind and heart that He is God! Listen to Him on this. It will take an effort to do this many times but it will all be worth it. By the way, read through Ephesians too. Learning God's grace will usher His grace into our lives. Read about His blessings, thanksgiving, His life in us, unity in the body of Christ, His illuminating life in us and also how to honor God and others. Mental illnesses cannot survive and grow with this stuff! The bible is full of healing and life! Read about how Jesus healed people, delivered them and brought them back to life. He is the resurrection and the life! He just spoke a word or touched someone, or someone touched Him! In Genesis, He just spoke and it was. He breathed on the Earth. He did surgery on man himself by putting him in a deep sleep and then opened him up, took a rib and with his breath made a woman. To this day, every man has one less rib than women and scientist do not know why. In Genesis, it explains why we are in such a mess on Earth and even how long they used to live! The bible is useful in corrections, reproving, so many positive things. He says, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things." (Philippians 4:8 NKJV) And that's good advice!
It's best to declare healing scriptures as God's will and stand on them according to God's purpose and to pray for these into peoples' lives. Trust God to love us and honor His word and give Him pure thanks! Don't give up on God. Ask Him to show you how He wants to work in your life and what He wants to do. "But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matthew 6:33 KJV) Ask around for others to testify of what God did for them and build your faith together! Don't trust in a copycat god or religion because when you make a deal with the devil, he always takes something in return that you can't live without. Anything that takes your vision and energy away from Jesus is a demonic driven thing!
There are many scriptures on healing and health, so here's a few: Psalms 107:19-22, "Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men. Let them sacrifice thank offerings and tell of his works with songs of joy (NIV)." Here is one on spiritual and mental healing in Isaiah 6:9-10, He said, “Go and tell this people: “Be ever hearing, but never understanding; be ever seeing, but never perceiving. Make the heart of this people calloused; make their ears dull and close their eyes. Otherwise, they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed (NIV).” Isaiah 53:4-5, "Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds, we are healed (NIV)." Jeremiah 17:14, "Heal me, o Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise (NIV)." Matthew 4:24, "News about him spread all over Syria, and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed, those having seizures, and the paralyzed, and he healed them (NIV)." Matthew 14:35-36, "And when the men of that place recognized Jesus, they sent word to all the surrounding country. People brought all their sick to him and begged him to let the sick just touch the edge of his cloak, and all who touched him were healed (NIV)." Mark 1:34, "and Jesus healed many who had various diseases. He also drove out many demons, but he would not let the demons speak because they knew who he was (NIV)." Mark 5:28-29, "because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed. Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering (NIV)." Mark 5:34, He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering" (NIV). Mark 6:12-13, "They went out and preached that people should repent. They drove out many demons and anointed many sick people with oil and healed them (NIV)." Mark 6:56, "And wherever he went--into villages, towns or countryside--they placed the sick in the marketplaces. They begged him to let them touch even the edge of his cloak, and all who touched him were healed (NIV)."Luke 8:50, "Hearing this, Jesus said to Jairus, "Don't be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed" (NIV). Acts 8:7, "With shrieks, evil spirits came out of many, and many paralytics and cripples were healed (NIV)." Hebrews 12:12-13, "Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. "Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed (NIV)." James 5:16, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective (NIV)." Proverbs 12:18, "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (NIV)." Proverbs 13:17, "A wicked messenger falls into trouble, but a trustworthy envoy brings healing (NIV)." Proverbs 15:4, "The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit (NIV)." Proverbs 16:24, "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones (NIV)." Read the chapter of Isiah 58 about the subject of true fasting. There is much to say on healing in there about how to have your healing and light quickly appear. 1 Corinthians 12:9, "To another faith by the same Spirit, to another, gifts of healing by that one Spirit (NIV)." This is only a few of the gifts of the Holy Spirit that He gives to Christian believers all around the world. In 1 Corinthians 12:28, "And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues (NIV)." Exodus 15:26, He said, "If you listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, who heals you (NIV)." When people are living right in God's eyes and seeking Him first, they live healthier lives and with less sick troubles because God honors His words of life to perform them and He has a set standard for the inhabitants of this Earth.
Diseases, cancers, and other sicknesses come from destructive breakdowns in the natural flesh that wreaks havoc on and in a body. When cells can't reproduce, other cells as strong and healthy as they are, it is because of breakdowns in the system. Unhealthy thoughts of worry or foods with no nutritional value in them but bad ones that break bodies down over time. And we age because of our cells losing their resilience they once had. Harsh weather conditions, smoking carcinogens, unforgiveness, habitual anger occurrences, hurtful habits, laziness, or even overexposing. Some are born with mental, emotional or physical hindrances and binding problems that demand more oversight and attention than other areas of our lives. We have challenges that not everyone faces and that can be tiresome and be discouraging sometimes. But don't let that get in your way of moving forward into accomplishments or achievements that are available to you just because you have to fight harder or be more creative than someone else. People are worth more than things that slow them down or get in their way of something. We all have something to offer to others in life just by being you and with parts of you. Like, for example, a man who has one leg and a broken heart can learn to understand how to help injured animals or teach small children to move on in life and touch others hearts with love and strength. A person with diabetes can learn the survival skills and tell others what to eat and what to stay away from. God can heal them before, during or after and he now can make good choices and teach others as well. Just trust God's love and wisdom. In Psalm 103 it tells us to praise God and does not forget all of His benefits. Then it mentions God, who forgives all our sins, heals all of our diseases, redeems our life and loves us with compassion. God satisfies our desires with good things and renews our youth. The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressors and makes known his ways and deeds. He's compassionate and gracious, slow to anger abounding in love. This is the one who heals us to be whole and complete like Him and full of love like Him.
One very important thing to keep in mind is to forgive anyone who has hurt and offended you, as many times as it takes, every time you think about them. The Lord told me to forgive others and even when I did he told me again! I had given them to God, prayed for them and forgave them. But even over time, the remembrance of what they did made me mad and I did not realize that I had to KEEP on forgiving the same old offenses until I was over it. Many people think to forgive someone once is enough but we don't think about forgiving over and over again for the same things because they hurt us so bad. Sometimes our wounds go deep and sting for so long. This allows God to heal us in these matters through our hearts and minds more and more each time we bring our offenses and others to Him until we are completely at peace in our hearts with this other person or people who have offended us. We probably have not had the same offensive habits and made the same choices as the person who hurt us so it is harder to forgive fully because we don't think the same way as them. In the Lord’s Prayer, it says, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others." If our hearts are closed to others for any reason, we cannot receive forgiveness when we need it, like we need it. Because God loved us while we were yet sinners and a part of being whole is to be united in our hearts with people, even if they are not with us. That does not mean that we agree with them or approve of what they do. It is work that allows love to take action.
Something that is encouraging to our faith is personal testimonies. You probably know someone who has some of their own to share. Here are some of my biggest ones: When I was born, I had one leg shorter than the other. The doctor told my mom that I would need a step up shoe for the rest of my life. One day, my parents sat me down as a baby and laid my legs straight out in front of me. My dad prayed, "In the name of Jesus, grow." And they saw my leg slowly grow out to match the other one!
I also was born with petit mal epilepsy. I went into seizures here and there. It also slowed some of my learning down in school. My teacher would try to get my attention by coming in front of me and waving her hand, I was told, but I never knew it. It was like being in a coma while my eyes were opened. I never knew how much time had passed. As I got older, I noticed when it would start to come on me. I felt tired and some pressure would settle on me. So I remembered setting down to wait it out. When I was 13 years old, my mom prayed with me. She said, “I pray that the spirits of epilepsy be bound in the name of Jesus." Then we waited until we got back to the church to ask the pastor what to pray next. I did not have one single seizure during that time! Then, after we came home from church, we prayed and she said, “In the name of Jesus, I command the spirits of epilepsy to quietly leave Laura's body and not to ever come back in again!" Well, I am now in my 40s and I never had another epileptic fit again. For me, I needed to be delivered from it. But for some, it's not always deliverance they need, it's healing and visa-versa for others. I know someone who has all kinds of epilepsy fits and she has had a lot of prayers and some surgery too. Yes, I did have the real thing, though. I had my E.E.G. tests done before and had it and after we prayed I did not have it any longer.
Another healing I had was for my eyesight. I needed reading glasses. My right eye was worse than my left and the glasses I finally got looked embarrassing to me when I saw two different sized eyes through the lens. I already got picked on enough in school, I did not need that! I prayed for healing and I covered my eyes one at a time until my eyes straightened out as I read words. It took a few seconds. Then, I noticed that the glasses did not help anymore. The clinic would not take the glasses back, though. They had a picture of Jesus up for all to see but they did not believe that my eyes had been healed when we told them. They laughed about it. Oh well, I guess. I still was healed.
As a child and teen, I had great intimidation and fear of people. I shook, walking to the bus stop to see bullies on my way to see more at school. I did not know how to stand up for myself and was very unconfident that I could. I saw others as giants who were mean and smart. Even at church, where I felt safer, but not in the clear, I felt a constant fireball in my stomach that I could not get rid of. My stomach would tighten and feel sick. Every Wednesday in my youth group, I wished I had a friend to talk with and I thought no one would care about anything I had to say. I would have to take a bathroom break and cry in the stall every week and wait to go back in the room when my eyes didn't show it too much. As I got older as a Christian, I found a little more freedom every year out of my tormenting, fearful, lonely box. As I got older, in my lower 20s, I tried so hard to serve God. I did it because I wanted to, and some of it was out of more fear. I wanted souls to be saved yet I feared that I wasn't doing enough for God or others. I did not want someone to say to God, "I didn't know because she did not tell me!" But I had more to learn about trusting in the Lord to do the work through me, His way and through His Spirit.
I did not understand all of the scriptures as they were meant to be understood. I read, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:21 NIV) So guess what I did! No, really, guess. Well, I tried to give everything that meant anything to me away and I felt good about some of it. But then I started to feel like I was stealing from myself. For one thing, I gave my class ring with my name on it away.
My worst panic attack was when I thought God was pulling on me to run out in the snow and I felt such a strong pull but didn't know why. I had my pajamas on, bare feet, and it was twenty degrees below Fahrenheit with two feet of snow. I put my winter coat on and felt extreme guilt for it. I asked God, "Why do you want me to do this?" I heard a thought that said, "Don't ask, just do it!" What I did not realize was, that sounded just like my dad used to. Don't get me wrong, he was a good dad at times but the things you learn both good and bad get carried on in life before you even realize it.
My dad left when I was ten years old for good. My sister was seven. He is now a Christian but back then he was not and he made life at home very hard at times. We tried our best to please him and keep him happy with us. We did have some good times that we will never forget but I'm saying that we picked up some hard lessons to learn, too. I never really knew how God loved me so much as He does and I assumed that He would always have a challenge to keep happy with me. I realize that my parents have had to relearn some things like I did too. My grandparents taught me some things about Jesus and one told me that I could pray in my head when I was hurting. They had a lot to do with me asking Christ into my heart when I was ten. I did this when I was younger but I needed to ask again.
I soon volunteered my time in a mission called, "Right Side Up." I met people who were on lots of medications, drinkers, poor, homeless, developmentally challenged, emotionally ill, and hurting people, trying to get by. I did pray with some and we had some church services as well. Some could come in and relax or eat lunch with us. I enjoyed talking with people there. I got to know some people who did not realize how special they were. The Lord reached out to me, to my surprise. I was told about major things in my past that only I would know and things that God was going to do in my life in the future. God delivered me of a spiritual cloud that hung over me and from the darkness that I still had in my soul. Finally, I had a breakthrough in my life and spirit that I never had before and I could be freer and have joy and peace.
From then on, I still kept growing in the Lord and I was learning to understand what God's word meant. Every time I learn more in the bible, I get relief inside of hope and real happiness for the future. God is not a slave driver and He doesn't just say He loves us and then leaves us as broken and imperfect as we are. We underestimate His perfect love and peace that He offers to us daily. I have had to deal with depression, bipolar and some anxiety that I only saw as too big to handle or get over. There are things that are taller than us that knock us down over and over again but God sees over those things, too, and He knows how to bring us over the storms and keep us through the fires. Only as we go with God and abide in His word, can we withstand the powers and authorities of darkness in this world. We don't have the strength, patience or the determination without Christ.
Have you ever considered God's healing in your life regarding your relationships, jobs, home or things like that? The truth is that He loves us and wants to be a part of every area of our lives. Sometimes things fall apart around us for many reasons and we get depressed or discouraged over it. Sometimes it's not always up to us to hold everything together. We can only do so much. We can trust and watch God move things around until we get whatever it is that He wants for us, for whatever reason. Sometimes we do fall prey to our spiritual enemies' efforts but we can count on God to work through things. He tells us, 'Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near." (Isaiah 55:6 NIV) He also says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18 NIV) He knows how to heal our wounds. Give everything to God, daily. We can stand and we can move on, but we must go with God. Pray and talk to him. Ask him to work it all out and pray for the kingdom of God to come and be fulfilled in your life. Reach out to others and pray for them, too. You may need to confide in other people who can encourage, help and pray. It's usually best to not be alone in your struggles and pains. If you have no choice though, you know that God is still with you. God knows exactly how much grace we need and when and the right way to give it. The more we rely on Him and walk with Him, the better off we become. He has our future in mind with a happy ending. He is the reason we have hope and a future. May God be with you and bless you always in His love and care.:-)Part 2 is after the blood moon came out in the fall of 2014, I started having many visions and dreams off and on about the great tribulation time and things to come. I had an up and down and up experience with my emotions over it all and for our lives and other lives and souls. I found I could not continue taking my A.D.D. medicine at the same time because I not only went through emotional stress but physically, I was getting shaky and losing weight unintentionally. Then, I found that taking my Melatonin pills at night was too much for me also all of a sudden. So I ended up slowly tapering off all the medication pills I was on. It was not the same as the times in the past when I tried to get off myself, rather all at once or little by little. This was Gods timing and I told the doctors how I was doing and that I needed to move off these things as I had to. It was a good thing that our insurance changed when it did because the psychiatrist would have never let me let go of these as I needed to as she believed that a person who needed these would need them their whole lives without getting real, full healing as I did. I still have to bring my emotions and everything I think about to God but I know He is bigger than anything on earth and all of us. I had ran to God every time I was troubled and I searched His answers for everything I was greatly concerned about with tears and sweat until He could show me that His authority and dominion is so much higher than our distresses in the great tribulation and we are to run into Him and He will support us and bring us where we ought to be in the end as we just hold on to Him and believe that He is our fortress, our high tower, our strength, our miracle of grace that we will need! As He opened Himself up to me, I knew beyond a doubt that He would not leave us without answers, without hope, without a miracle in Jesus while on earth as we are waiting for His return and all our salvation for those who will come to Him. So basically, through a continual, serious diet of His word and much prayer, I was delivered and healed as I walked through the fire with my Jesus! He has fulfilled His promise He made to me years ago about completely healing me so I could help other people. Well, I have not always seen healing when I prayed with or for other people for whatever reason but I watched God heal my stepdad recently. I had a good feeling about getting on the phone to pray for my stepdad to get healed from stage 4, cancer. God even gave me the words to say this time so I knew beyond a doubt that he would be healed. The words were, “The curse of cancer, be canceled.” They went back to the doctor for more tests because he was vomiting before we prayed for weeks ongoing from the radiation therapy and cancer had traveled all through his organs and his bones. He got more blood drawn for tests and they found no more cancer in the blood or organs or anywhere in his body! He also started eating foods better and stopped vomiting. Later, I prayed with my mom on the phone again for his spine to straighten out and reverse from the coiling it was doing that made him extremely hunched over in his back. About 2 days later my mom called and left a message on our phone that said, “Laura, It’s your mom. Lee came down the hallway (Pause) STANDING TALL! He wasn’t hunchback and he wasn’t twisted up. Two days ago he had to have another notch in his belt. Satan tried to scare me. He came down the hallway straight and tall! It was amazing! Praise God. Thank you for your prayers.” (So far, this is what I have to share.)